My husband Danny and I have been together for over two decades. From the very beginning of our courtship, he treated me so well that I used to ask him all the time, “Why are you so good to me?” I had recently come off a relationship that was not so good, and the nice things Danny was doing were in stark contrast of what I was used to. His acts of kindness went above and beyond anything I could imagine. From little things like opening the door for me, sending me cards and flowers, and cooking special meals for me, to big things like the day the rabbit died.
You see, I had a backyard pet rabbit that I found dead one day in its cage. Due to a number of different circumstances, I was not able to bury him right away. Though it was not terribly long before I went to take care of the situation (a day or two), when I actually did, well…let’s just say it was not a pretty sight. When Danny found out about the dilemma, he came over in a flash with gloves, a mask, a shovel, and cleaning disinfectant to tackle the problem; and soon my queasy quandary was gone.
Monday roses and care packages were other ways that Danny was good to me. In the beginning of our relationship, I had pretty low self-esteem and was coming out of a tough spot in my life. The start of the work week in particular was challenging for me, so Danny would buy me a rose and make sure to bring it over every Monday before I left for work. Sometimes he would drop it off at my place of employment (a school) if he didn’t catch me in the morning before I left. The rose, along with a quick hug and a short prayer, meant the world to me. He continued this Monday rose tradition for years.
Also, anytime I went away, such as on a weekend retreat, a family visit, or a vacation, he would make a care package for me. It was full of sweet notes to read for each and every day I was gone, and sometimes he would add snacks or other fun treats. With each kind act I would wonder, why is he so good to me?
Most of the time when I would ask Danny, “Why are you so good to me?” he usually smiled and said nothing. Later in our relationship when things were more serious, his answer to my question would be, “Because I love you.” Though I got an answer, I still struggled with understanding his kindness towards me. Like when Danny would give me a compliment, I would usually discount or deflect it. I didn’t fully realize it then, but my distorted mind set was that I didn’t deserve to be treated so well. It took me a while to realize that Wow! This person really thinks I am worth something. It took even longer for me to personally accept, Yes! I am worth something! Now when Danny gives me a compliment I can honestly say “thank you.”
The amazing thing about our story is that even though the enchantment phase and the honeymoon are over, Danny continues to be so very good to me! Yes he still cooks for me, opens doors for me, and prays with me. Yes, the care package is something he still does now, twenty-three years later, each and every time I go away. And he often has a honey-do surprise for me when I get back home! He also makes sure I have a “Monday rose” with the start of each and every school year. And there are so many other things he does that I cannot even begin to list them all.
Though I am not as surprised with his acts of service for me now as I was all those years ago, I am still in awe of Danny’s devoted love. Recently I was thinking of how good Danny is to me and I realized that his sweet love really helps me to understand how much God loves me. In my heart the Lord was telling me that, Yes Danny, an imperfect human-being loves you this much, and I – your Father and Creator – love you even more! The perfect, eternal and unconditional love of God my Father is not something I can fully wrap my mind around, but my Lord gives me the love of Danny here on this earth to help me begin to see.
So the question “Why are you so good to me?” has been answered. Two times.
Me to my husband: “Why are you so good to me?”
Danny: “Because I love you!”
Me to my Lord: “Why are you so good to me?’
God: I am so good to you because I love you! You are my precious daughter and I love to shower you with gifts. Danny’s love is one of the many ways that I give you love. Danny is my gift to you.
And I humbly say, “Thank you!”